My dad died this week. His death reminded me how precious life is. It seems like yesterday that I was growing up in his home.
I visited him last week, traveling from Chicago to St. Louis. He was sitting in his wheelchair. He was in poor health and I knew that in a short while he would be gone.
You may have noticed that I haven’t blogged for a couple of weeks. I’ve been spending time with my family this last couple of weeks and it has given me time to reflect on my life.
While in St. Louis, I drove by my undergraduate university, someplace I haven’t been to since I graduated 34 years ago, just to see if the place had changed. I drove to the university taking the same route that I drove every day from my parent’s house. I took note of the many things that remained and those that hadn’t. Much had changed over the years and not all for the good. Areas of town were shabbier, more derelict, than I remember.
The drive reminded me how much had changed in the city and how my life had changed in the many years since that day of graduation in 1984.
With my father close to death, I was reminded how short life really is. I thought his impact on my life and on that of my siblings. I thought about his legacy which in turn made me think about mine. What do I what to do with my remaining years on earth? One day I will be leaving this earth, just like my dad. How was I going to be remembered?
But a better question is. How do I want to be remembered?
You will Leave a Legacy No Matter What
Many people equate “Leaving a Legacy” as some prominent person leaving a large donation to a hospital or similarly creating a foundation, that will live long after they are gone. I take a different view. I believe every person leaves a legacy. A legacy is how we will be remembered; or not remembered (e.g. forgotten). All of us have an impact on other people’s lives, whether that impact is good or bad. The alcoholic father, who comes home drunk and beats his children, will be remember long after he is gone. The children will bear the scars of his actions all their lives and in some cases will pass on the same behavior to the next generation.
You will leave behind a legacy by anything you do or don’t do. Inaction is a legacy as well. The missed baseball games of your son because you are working too much; the missed piano recital because you are on the road all the time, bears out in your legacy.
But there is hope. You are still alive, and you can have a positive impact no matter what happened in the past.
How Do you Want to be Remembered? Part 1
Picture yourself in your rocking chair, in your late 80s, early 90s. Your grandchildren and great-grand children are all around you playing, laughing. Your children are there, talking with you, remembering the good times you had together; all the wonderful memories. This could be how your life will be at that age.
Or, based on the lack of relationship with your children, your days in a rocking chair could be filled with loneliness and not laughter. As a baby boomer, born in 1964 or earlier, you are at least 53 years of age. Your children are likely in college or may even be married and have kids of their own. How often do they call you? How often do you call them? How involved are you in their lives today?
If the answer is not very often, then pick up the phone. While it may be very difficult to overcome being an absentee father or mother, it is not too late.
How Do you Want to be Remembered? Part 2
What do you want to do before you die? What do you want to experience? Who do you want to experience this with?
What do you want to do before you die is a question every person should ask themselves, but especially baby boomers. Us baby boomers are running out to time. There are fewer and fewer tomorrows. Much of our life is behind us instead of in front of us. Each day is more important that the one before.
John Maxwell, business thought leaders says, “Almost everyone wants to live a life of meaning and significance whether or not they express the desire.”
Make Intentional Decisions
Many of us are guilty of letting life go by. I’ve have been guilty of that in many times in my life and I no longer want to do that. I’ve started a list of what I want to do in the remaining time I have on this planet. It’s not a bucket list per se. While there are sites around the world I do want to see, it is much more about the impact I want to have on others. I want to give back and help others. That’s why I started this blog. I want to help other entrepreneurs in their journey. And while be successful in business is a good thing there are many things that are much more important.
- Decide today how you want to be remembered. How do you want to be remembered by your children? How do you want to be remembered by your brothers and sisters (and parents)?
- What impact do you want to have on society? How do you want to give back? Can you help the poor with your time? Can you volunteer at a hospital?
- It doesn’t have to be grandiose gesture, it can be something small. Just make a conscious decision about how you can give back. Then; Just Do It.
Leave a comment. I’d like to hear your plans on how you plan to give back.
By the way, my dad fought in the Pacific in World War II, hence the raising of the flag at Iwo Jima picture.