I’ve set a goal to lose weight many times in my life. Sometimes I took the goal seriously and lost weight. At other times, I didn’t make the commitment and the weight loss didn’t happen or I lost a few pounds and immediately put them back on.
But there have been times that I lost a significant amount of weight, 30 or 40 pounds, within a 3 to 4 months period. But even with that significant achievement, within a year, I put most of the weight back.
But now I am losing weight and enjoying the process, and I believe the weight will stay off. I don’t feel deprived in my eating. I enjoy eating healthy. I enjoy working out. So why was my weight going up and down like a rollercoaster before? What changed?
Identity
I didn’t think there was any particular reason for why I was gaining back weight, for why it was occurring, until I heard about Identity. Identity is defined in the dictionary as “the fact of being who or what a person or thing is.
Who was I identifying myself as a person? And was that identity impacting my ability to lose weight. Was I a fat man who is losing weight? Was that the image I had of myself? I thought long and hard about it. Could it be how I am picturing myself, my identity; was causing me to gain weight back?
I believe it was. Because as soon as I went off a diet, I went back to eating as I had before. It was because the image of who I am hadn’t changed. The difference is now, I have a different picture. I see myself as a runner. Many years ago, I was a runner. I ran in races. I haven’t run any races in almost 30 years.
But today, I picture myself as a runner. Am I running yet; no. I’m still too heavy and I don’t want to put the stress on my knees. But I am on course to start running in two months. I have lost 35 pounds this year.
I identify with being a runner and do what a runner does. I workout each day, just like a runner. I eat healthy food. Not because I have to. I’m not eating fast food because I CAN’T. I’m not on a diet. I DON’T eat fast food, or sweets, not because I CAN’T, it is because I don’t want to. Using the word can’t means someone or something is preventing me from eating.
If I say to myself, which I did in the past “I would love to eat 3 slices of pizza” and my subconscious sees this mean “diet” in the corner, telling me I can’t have that pizza. It is preventing me from doing what I want. Using the word DON’T enables me to choose. I choose what I want to eat. I choose to eat healthy and cut back how much I eat, not because of a diet, or because I have to. It is because I want to. I feel empowered when I’m at Costco and I see all the bags of chips and I smile and say to myself “I don’t eat that because I’m a runner.”
So in anything where you are inconsistent; not getting the results you want, take a look at your identity. Take a look at how you identify yourself and compare that to the person you need to be to be consistent. Identify traits and do those things that the Identity requires. Your Identity is your Secret Weapon.
I enjoy the feeling of eating right and working out. I feel good. But I don’t always feel like working out at 5 am. The ability to continuously do the things that are good for me goes well beyond motivation or willpower.
So how do you change your Identity?
- Determine what kind of person you need to be to accomplish your life goals. If you want to be a millionaire, write out what a millionaire does. What are their habits? What are the things a millionaire consistently does? A google search and several articles will tell you exactly what they do.
- Take a hard look at your life. Be honest with yourself and ask yourself, “which of those millionaire habits am I not doing?” And which of those habits am I not doing consistently?
- Make a decision to have a new identity. Not a wish, a decision. And on top of the decision, a commitment. A commitment to do whatever it takes to truly become that identity.