Today’s interview is with one of the premier thought leaders in the area of Comfort zone. He has written over 60 articles in the Harvard Business Review; is the author of Reach and Global Dexterity and is a distinguished professor at Brandeis University. Let’s welcome Dr. Andy Molinsky.
Alan: Andy, thanks for taking the time to talk with us.
Andy: My pleasure.
Alan: Let’s go right into the interview, there are so many areas to discuss.
Have you found there are common things that can help someone take the first step on the road to getting out of their comfort zone? Actions such as walking up to a stranger at a party for a 3-minute conversation or buying a stranger a Starbucks coffee?
Andy: It depends on what they are trying to work on. People have different comfort zones. For example, let’s say you want to be more comfortable at networking. There are two major steps. The first step is to understand why you want to network in the first place. What is the reason for networking? The second step is the conviction that stepping outside your comfort zone is worth it, otherwise, why would you do it? Once you have done that, you’re able to create a plan for networking. You’ll be able to create your objective for networking, such as self-promotion, and then you’ll be able to look at the different facets of network to determine where you are most uncomfortable; your pain points.
Also, part of the plan is setting sequential goals that are progressively harder. You’re not able to go from 0 to 60 overnight. If you try too much, too fast, you’ll give up.
Alan: Sounds like that approach can be used for getting out of your comfort zone, no matter what the area is?
Andy: That’s correct.
Alan: In getting out of your comfort zone is it a good idea to do the same type of activities repeatedly in a short time period, such giving speeches?
Andy: There does needs to be a frequency to it. It is a good idea do the activity on a regular basis so you can build on competence and if the activity doesn’t go well, you have another chance. So, in the example of giving speeches, you don’t want to give one a year. But in addition, to giving speeches more often, is important increase the difficulty. And by difficulty I mean the audience would be larger or the topic more complex. The key point is to stretch yourself; be a bit uncomfortable. Also, it is important go get feedback on your speeches. The feedback can’t be from your best friend, who will compliment you, but at the same time not have feedback that is so harsh that it crushes your spirit. The television show Shark Tank is a good one to watch on how feedback is done well.
Alan: So I would think having a coach would be a good idea.
Andy: It is for a variety of reasons. First, your coach would be an expert in the area you want to improve, like a speech coach. Second, they are able to help you design a plan for progressive difficulty. Third, their feedback is based on experience in the given area, so they know which areas need the most improvement.
Alan: Is it easier to get out of our comfort zone when you are younger?
Andy: It is not about age, it is about mindset and personality. Are you willing to try something new? Are you willing to learn? I’ve worked with people that have spent career in an area that is dying and realize they need to reinvent themselves. Age didn’t have an impact.
Alan: Should schools work on ways for kids to get out of their comfort zones? Are there things parents/grandparents should do to encourage their kids to get out to of their comfort zone?
Andy: It is important for parents to know their kids comfort zone and pick your spot to work on. Choose an activity the kid has an interest in, so they want to do it. If the child loves soccer, have him join a team. Do it in small steps. Nudge them and build from there.
Alan: I remember that my son wanted to play soccer, we signed him up and got his uniform. I took him to his first practice, but he refused to join the others. He was climbing the goalposts when his mom arrived. She told him, “You decided to play soccer. You need to get on the field now with the others.” He reluctantly joined. He played soccer for 12 seasons.
Andy: That brings up a good point on getting kids to get out of their comfort zone. One parent may be better at nudging them to try uncomfortable activities. Parents need to cognizant of their skills to get their children to get out of their comfort zone.
Alan: This question is in reference to an article you wrote in the Harvard Business Review. In the 4 types of Ineffective Apologies”, Nov. 25, 2016, How to you apologize to a customer when they are angry at something that happened that was beyond your control; wasn’t something you or your team did?
Andy: Depends on the circumstances, but in general, don’t take an adversarial role. Come from the viewpoint, ‘we are all in this together. I’m sorry it happened and will look into it’ and then get back to the customer. The respect you show to the customer is important.
Alan: Your book Reach: A New Strategy to Help You Step Outside Your Comfort Zone, Rise to the Challenge and Build Confidence has been very successful. What’s next for you; a new book?
Andy: I have a new focus but it is related to Reach. I’m helping young professionals move into corporate and I’m doing this through a podcast. I’m working with five undergrads on it. It about moving from the dorm room to the boardroom and will be available in late January 2019. One of the reasons I’m doing the podcast is use a new form, rather than just print. The Twitter page is already up and website will be soon.
Alan: I’ve learned a lot just in the short time we have talked. What is the best way to reach you and find out more on how to get out of our comfort zones?
Andy: My website is andymolinsky.com; my Twitter is @andymolinsky and I’m on LinkedIn.
Alan: Thank you so much for talking to us today.